When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over...

...when everything is out, you gotta take it in.

My apologies! I've been quite busy; I've barely had enough time to eat, let alone update my blog. Right now I'm at my relatives' house by a fireplace, with Angel playing in the background, trying to type on my Touch. Stoking this fire has made me realise that I really am a by-an-open-fire type of person.

Thailand is in a week! Nearly everything is ready, I've been keeping up with my study and this holiday is finally in sight. Here is another crazy - yet wonderful - catastrophe on the horizon and I'm ready. Hopefully I can update you while I'm over; if not, then when I get back.

Feeling like a young lass.

The fact that this was taken on a tram means something a little bit more to me. Other than the fact that is a decent picture of me smiling for once! This was taken on the way to a cousin's 21st party at an Irish pub; the friend who took this picture and came with got to meet much of my family.

It was quite a night that involved us dancing on an otherwise deserted dance floor, somehow breaking a wine glass by its stem by simply putting it down on a table - causing the bowl of the glass to flop on the table unsupported, and somehow managing to cover an unfortunate cousin of mine with the contents of an unattended glass of red. It also involved me ranting about waitressing and writing, as well as hearing about other family members and their own happenings.

I'm glad to find that I'm keeping to my promise to myself, of getting out more, socialising, and just generally having fun.

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!

From here.

Summer has ended. So begins the scenery that makes me fall in love with Melbourne all over again. Seeing the colours of leaves of passing trees fade has been something of a guilty joy. Leaving work a few times to see the streets lit up like a carnival AND raining is something that's cheered me up. That is, cheered me up after the reality of waitressing that' starting to confront  me with every shift. 

Having somewhat sucessfully recovered from an anxiety disorder that was triggered by social situations has been something to slip my mind. It's something that I'm not entirely aware of, unless I'm about to face a busy shift and my insides start to shift uncomfortably. Reminding myself, in these particular situations, that I have a part to play, is something that gets me through the night; I emerge hours later wondering why I was so anxious to begin with.

The thought of eating out was something that would previously twist my stomach and make me feel sick; the fact that I've managed to control it and take up this kind of job - talk to strangers every day - is nothing but some sort of miracle. I remember the days when I was terrified to answer a door or phone, and I think of how much about me has changed... and I realise how much I take for granted my current state of mind.

It could always be much, much worse.