The perks of being a cinema worker.

Cinema work is yet another perspective that I've taken for granted. One thing I'll say; popcorn off carpet has to be one of the hardest things to clean effectively and efficiently.

 

As I sit here with my regular cup of tea and ponder the future, new details come into knowledge and old ones end up helping define them clearer. I'm finally, definitely, out of that lost feeling of such a prolonged reverse culture shock. While I treasure my moments overseas and they shaped to become this new me; I know it means nothing unless I start moving forward and onwards.

I've been seeing tons of Melbourne lately and I'm loving finally being a tourist in my own city; Mount Dandenong, the Royal Botanical Gardens, St Kilda, Southbank... there's more to come and I can't wait.

Last assignments are coming up; essays piecing apart films, advertisement analysis and group work all complete. I find I'm feeling so productive when I'm on a roll, with some Sufjan Stevens accompanying my laptop's keyboard clacking away on a Word document. I've chosen Stoker and The Purge for my film essays, mainly because I've been so fascinated by the visual imagery and themes in both as of recently. I'll include trailers below of both for your interest.

Stoker (2013)

The Purge (2013)

The weather's getting warmer, the next season ice skating classes are coming up... and it's October! This time next month, I'll be full swing in last minute preparations for my study tour to the States. Remembering the necessary arrangements is a little scary, but it's oh so very exciting to be heading out again.

Take me, take me to the riot!

I passed my ice skating exam, by the way.

So I've had a bunch of crazy catastrophes in the past week or so. I've finally figured out how to utilise this part of my life; this strange, jetlagged heart of mine recovering little by little. I was sitting on the sidelines of my own life, looking in, waiting for my own life to start.

And it has. It took a while, but it finally has.

Sunday I went to the Royal Melbourne Show with friends. I'm glad I initiated plans and it turned out to be one of the best days I've had in quite some time. BMX stunts, rides, fireworks, showbags... I'd missed the chaos of a carnival atmosphere. It had been years since I'd previously gone to the show, and I was able to appreciate it differently with friends. One of my highlights of the day was finding a booth that was selling chocolate covered strawberries, which I'd taken to doing in Örebro as gifts and for fika.

It's funny, my two regular fika friends first laughed amusedly at the thought of 'fika' being an actual word for what we do regularly (sitting around catching up over coffee and cake for hours, Fika Fridays!), but they seem to have adapted the term and they've really embraced it, which is something I've delighted in.

Something else I've done this week is revisit my Melbourne bucket list. I still want to do the Eureka Tower, but some interesting circumstances happened and I ended up at the top of Mount Dandenong, looking out over the city below.

It's so much better in person, you could see the entire city skyline much better. It got me thinking how I saw so many views abroad; Barcelona, Paris, Poland, Venice, Florence, Russia, Tallinn, and even from the Örebro water tower, looking over the city I'd lived in for such a while. 

It was so comforting to see a view of a place I call home this time; being able to think 'I live somewhere down here' as I watched the city below - and practically cost free (unless you count parking) and great company. That's not something I could entirely get from going to the Eureka Tower, but I still want to do it.

Cinema work is something entirely new; yet another perspective I've taken for granted. Apparently though, I'm a fast learner and I'm doing well.

And my pre-departure session for the study tour in the States is this Friday! It feels so much closer now.

...now what?

Okay, I think I'm going crazy.

Not a new sentence, I know. But I think about everything I wanted to do when I returned, and think about what I've really done to this point. I've gotten the haircut, I'm regularly ice skating once or twice a week, and I went to the Monet exhibition not long after I got back. I try and make plans with friends once or twice a week.

But that's it. I feel like I'm slipping backwards again.

It's hard to interact with strangers for me, considering my living situation and that everyone just feels closed off on campus. I've ended up mass venting my thoughts on my Twitter account, and a majority of it is about work (sorry to my Twitter followers).I'm second guessing myself at work and that just makes me fall further backwards in that regard.

Of course there's all that solo woman power, exploring Docklands, going to the cinema solo, eating out solo... but there's a fine line between confidence and solitary.

I think I just feel... lost.

Country time and a catch up.

It's so easy to forget just how far I've come.

I'm not talking travel, I'm talking family. I went to visit Mildura during my week off from uni.

 

It's been a refreshing time off from work, which I've been thankful for. Work's definitely been more challenging lately and I've ended up second guessing myself. Which is ridiculous because I have confidence in my work. The problem just seems to be clashes of perspective when it comes to upselling and service.

...always putting in 100% only to be told it's not enough and another 30% is required? You'd be frustrated too. Especially when tips say I'm doing perfectly fine.

 

University's really starting to get interesting as I start looking at Freud and Oedipus in my film psychology classes. I went and saw Now You See Me in cinemas and recommend it. I mean, magicians.

That's all from me for now... stay awesome, guys.

Play hard, but work hard too.

Abisko, Sweden.

Hello! I'm happy to report that things have been quite busy lately. Sometimes I wonder why I put myself through certain things, before remembering that I'm working toward something. It'll all be worth it.

University trimester starts up again, and I'll be pondering more of the media and its hypnosis on the general society again. There's also a Study Abroad Club on campus that helps out the international exchange students, and I'll be joining! I'll help out students adjusting to Melbourne and this insane country.

I opened my letter to myself that I wrote before I left. It was full of a respect for the unknown that I wasn't quite expecting; and just another example of how far I've come.

I've read and watched The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and Daydream Nation, respectively. I've reviewed both on my Tumblr page for your viewing pleasure, and they've both been such a surprise to me. Both came within 48 hours of each other and it's made me see things yet again differently.

I've finished 2 Broke Girls, and I'm debating about rewatching Buffy for that extra boost of self-respect. 2 Broke Girls has gotten me more curious about New York, and the people that can be found in little corners and down streets. Places like Soho and Willamsburg. Central Park. South Manhattan. I'm hoping to see Metric while I'm in North America; coming across Emily Haines' music in Daydream Nation has steered me back to listening to Metric and rediscovering my old favourites.

 

Ice skating's going well, I've signed up for a term and I've been going to the rink on weekends. I'm exploring different areas of Melbourne that I haven't previously and I'm loving it. I went with my friend Jewels to the Monet exhibition and then we wandered around the Business District.

As always, you can find more informal stuff on my Tumblr, and I'll keep updating once uni starts.

A restless nomad.

Well. I've been adjusting. I've had terrible jet lag, and Melbourne's been colder, but I'm recovering every day. I'm catching up and socialising as often as I can. I also got my job back! That's something that's become a huge relief to me.

I love being able to talk about my travels, with other people who have travelled. It may come off as boasting, but travelling is something I've realised makes me so happy. Some people have asked me why I'm not more big headed. And others feel the need to try and make what I've done hit home to me. I don't think I've entirely realised all the travelling I've done myself; and I prefer to keep it that way and remember them sequentially. Otherwise they blur together and I do realise that I've done a lot. I'm fighting to remember them separately, and it's confusing.

I met so many ambitious, like minded people overseas; and coming back, I've had to remember that this wonderful, open minded group is sadly the minority.

Another thing I've found coming back is how comparatively mundane everyday life feels now that I've experienced a different way of living. I didn't go two weeks without travelling somewhere after my first trip (Barcelona) and jet setting to another country just became so normal.

So one of the things I'm trying to do for myself these holidays is to try and keep things exciting. Socialise more. Get out there. Find a way to incorporate this weightless, effortless personality I'd found overseas and keep that zest for life that I'd found so easily overseas.

I've learned that I can't sit still and let life pass.
I need to actively participate.
I need to be a part of this strange, crazy, not always fair, life.
I need to see more of it.
And I want to find more of the minority.
...not only closer to home, but keep everyone I met abroad as well.

Post-Sweden.

Hej hej!

So I'm back in Melbourne.

I arrived Saturday night after about 19 hours of flying time. My Swedish neighbour on the way to Doha was on a school trip to Kenya to help build a school! We got to talking travel and the flight was fine. 

Doha is absolutely stunning at night, by the way.

The entertainment system on this particular commute didn't fail, not that it ever has; I watched Beautiful Creatures to Doha (missed it in the cinemas in Sweden) and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and most of The Brothers Grimm to Melbourne. Didn't get to finish it because the plane landed, stupid plane! I got some sleep too, big mistake because I'm a little jet lagged because of it.

My mum, my sister and her boyfriend met me at the airport.

 

We spent the night at a nearby hotel before driving to my new apartment in the morning.

This is my new view. I call it the 'rotting rooftop' view.

I'm almost finished fixing my shelf. I haven't put many souvenirs up here yet so it looks almost the same.

I've been doing 'back in Australia' errands lately, unpacking, and soon I'll be catching up with friends.

More to come when I start internalising and have more crazy catastrophes to report.

To achieve in my mundanity...

A list of things I want to do when I return to Melbourne.

• Get my license
• Get a new, proper haircut
• Hang with friends 1-2 a week
• Go to more music gigs
• Switch from glasses to contacts
• Start walking again (but not as intense as before!)
• Socialise with strangers at least once a week
• Try ice skating at the city's ice rink

Go to these places (interstate):

• Sydney
• Perth
• Uluru
• Tasmania
• New Zealand

Go to these places (within the state of Victoria):

• Royal Botanic Gardens
• Monet exhibit until July (which gallery?)
• Eureka Skydeck
• Chinatown

London calling!

So I'm aware that I haven't updated this blog since before Sea Battle/Tallinn. Let me just say now, that Sea Battle came as advertised; over 2000 exchange students on a boat with cheap alcohol. Do the maths.

So I'll just show you some things from Tallinn. It's a nice place, and I'll be back end of next month for my Tallinn/St Petersburg/Helsinki tour.

I'm done with class for the rest of this exchange (can I hear a YAY!?) and I leave for London on Friday. My list is longer than the Paris one and I'm beyond excited. London already feels expensive though, and I feel like a stingy tourist looking at prices for touristy places.

I want to find the Abbey Road crossing and get a photo op.

I want to walk down the Millennium Bridge.

I want to walk past Thames House and down the River.

I want to cross Tower Bridge somehow.

I want to poke out my tongue at guards at Buckingham Palace.

I want to find 10 Downing Street.

I want to stand in Trafalgar Square.

I want to know if the Queen's home at Windsor Castle.

I want to find Captain Jack Harkness.

I want to hear Big Ben ring out over the city.

I want, I want, I want... and will get.

Poland.

So the trip to Poland was great. Poland was never huge on my list of places to go, but sometimes it's good to try new and unexpected places. Because they can surprise you. Big time.

So Saturday afternoon we landed in Warsaw, and it was raining. We found our hostel and walked around Old Town exploring. We saw some interesting stuff.

We got up VERY early the next morning to take the train to Kraków (three hours). I ended up in an apartment with an older Polish family; one guy studying in London, his parents, his cousin and another woman who I didn't know how she was connected. The first thing they asked me was if I could understand Polish (for the obvious reason); and they became so fascinated by me (an Australian girl, studying in Sweden, on a trip to Poland) that they asked me questions the whole trip. I was exhausted and cranky but I stayed polite and answered all their questions.

I asked to learn Polish and the cousin said something that made them all laugh, and the aunt slapped his knee. Eventually they told me he'd said 'give me a kiss' (daj mi buziaka) and the next one was 'you have pretty eyes' (Masz piękne oczy). I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable; I've been hit on by older men before, but it isn't any easier the more it happens to me.

We arrived in Kraków and toured Auschwitz I and II. This was an experience I'm never going to forget. It was something quite similar to what happened to me in Phuket (I explain here) - I was feeling so much that I just shut down completely and went numb. Walking through the grounds of both camps, I felt... haunted. I was so uncomfortable to get pictures of myself here, so I merely walked around silently taking pictures of what was there.

There was one display at Auschwitz I that requested no pictures to be taken... human hair taken from the prisoners. I was looking at the pile, thinking, 'this is human hair'. There are no words. I have no words. There can't possibly be words for this. I can read all I want about history, but being in a place where you know what happened is something else entirely.

Auschwitz I was the former Polish military base taken over by the Germans at the start of World War II. Auschwitz II was built entirely by the prisoners, and you can see the significant difference.

We stayed the night in Kraków, exploring that old town. There's more in Kraków for the simple reason of Warsaw being levelled by the Nazis in World War II, and being rebuilt.

We went back to Warsaw the next (Mon)day and spent the rest of the day there. The Rising Museum was a definite highlight. We then went back to Sweden Tuesday.

I also got my Polish Starbucks!

I'm glad I decided to go, it was one of those unexpected surprises. 

Also, things were cheap. Food. Alcohol.

My Starbucks mug collection is growing nicely.

I've also booked a week long tour in Italy (Rome/Florence/Venice) for the first week of June. It'll be my last overseas trip before I go back to Melbourne on the 14th, and the tour covers all three cities that I want to visit. It was perfect. I'll be hitting up all four of the top four cities of Europe during my exchange: Barcelona, Paris, London and Rome.

As always, you can find my Instagrams on the go on my Tumblr.