And I will love you, until you learn, to love yourself...

Guess what guys? I've finished uni for the year.
So you'll probably hear more from me.

I've also started Bleach (the anime). I'm not usually one for anime, but it's something different. Plus there's only so many television shows I can watch before I start picking at the clichés; seductive teacher, bug person, dead person, witch person, etc etc etc.

Once I got over the whole YES THIS IS AN ANIME vibe it threw in my face, it had that weird charm of being charming. Like Doctor Who did. I'm going to have to keep watching Bleach, aren't I?

I've also watched RENT and I like it a lot! It reminds me of year 12 Lit, especially this number.

I'll definitely be Buffy/Angel this summer as well, I only just today bought the Angel boxed set.

I also have this song in my head. While it has the most appalling ulterior motive ever (girls willing to start ripping off their clothes for him) I'm learning to love myself. (Well I'm not like this: *annoying fangirl teenager* Like OMG that song was, like, soooooooo written for me, like yeah). So I don't really care. It's a feel good. 

 

GIRLLEMMELUVU.

The weather, while being very temperamental lately, is getting a little warmer. I rugged up real good today, and I realised I wouldn't mind doing it on a regular basis.

I might have some news in the next couple of days, I might not. No idea.

Things and Stuff.

Hello there! I've been quite busy lately and it feels like I never have enough time lately. Uni will be finishing in a couple of weeks and I've been working as much as I can.

It's always awkward when a customer deliberately catches my eye and I walk over to ask what they want. Only to find it was just awkward eye contact and nothing more. Because waitresses are meant to be invisible unless the customer wants something.

I'm looking forward to the releases of Chad Sugg's Was and Muse's The 2nd Law album releases this coming week. I've also been eagerly enraptured by the current episodes of Doctor Who; now that I caught up with the series' reboot onwards, I'm watching episodes as they come out now. Such a renewed excitement. I finished Dollhouse last week and felt slightly disappointed, it's not Joss Whedon's best.

*coughAvengersBuffyCabincough* 

I also watched Ruby Sparks yesterday and was slightly impressed. It was not so much a rom-dramedy as a reflection on writers and their creations, so the story still appealed to me despite the love story. You can't predict a relationship even if you have total creative control.

Living.

So all I've really been doing lately is going through homework. I've only just yesterday found a new spark of inspiration to keep going through.

Also I've been doing more lady like things like shoes and make up.

I've been diving into Torchwood, and my favourite character would have to be Ianto. I've loved how his role has slowly expanded from being the tea boy to his being included in field work. Also his buying a wedding dress for Gwen in 'Something Borrowed'. As I saw that first scene I laughed at the idea; then the actual scene popped up and I was a happy fangirl.

My hard drive has been corrupted; I'm the trembling survivor of a formatted hard drive. About a year or so of files and data... gone. Even my computer techy cousin Andrew couldn't recover any files. Thankfully the hard drive was for archival purposes; anything recent I've been working on was not lost.

Of course the fangirl in me is reacting something like:

because I've lost all these TV shows. But then I think, oh well. I just remember one little thing.

This post is awfully Tumblr-like too.

Maybe we'll fly the night away...girl...

Did you miss me?

I've started Torchwood. I think the thing that will stick with me was when I got my complete boxed set in the mail. It brightened my day, it was well packaged, and it was timely! I'm still waiting on something else to come and it's been about a week already.

Ed Sheeran this weekend! I'm very excited. You have no idea.

My TV Studio Production class is currently working on the minor project...presenting the news! I've since found a role and feel a little more like I know what I'm doing. Plus thinking of bogus news is kind of fun.

This made me absolutely fangirl.

And yeah, I've been living really. Essays. Blogging (academically, mainly). I've actually gotten quite a bit of good feedback - and I think it's something to do with my established confidence in the blogging universe.

Wanderlust will carry us home.

So I'm in Mildura as I type, with a plate of watermelon next to me as a blitz through Doctor Who. I started from the 2005 reboot; Christopher Eccleston is okay, but I've reached David Tennant and I can understand why my friend Holly was such a fangirl over him.

Tennant ties with Matt Smith on the subject matter of "who [my] Doctor is". The first episode I watched properly was The Impossible Astronaut, and he was the Doctor of the time (and still is).

I've been driving a little in the two days I've been here so far - and I really like driving. So I'm a happy lady.

You're the only one who knows, you slow it down...

I miss driving at night. You have no idea.
Source: Here.

So, Community. It's freaking brilliant.
Fantastic writing/wit. Perfect casting.
Many, many, MANY random moments.

'The City' by Ed Sheeran.
I made the banner, but everything else is not mine.

The days are starting to blur. I'm losing sense of time. Work. Exam.

Don't wait for too long.

I didn't know that you were going to be such a good thing.

Classes are finished for now. I only have the one exam left and an assignment.

I have a pile of entertainment awaiting; both books and television. Community will be next, after Angel, and Pride and Prejudice will be succeeded by titles such as Lauren Kate's Rapture, John Green's Paper Towns, David Nichollis' One Day, and many, many more. There will be reviews here.

Seriously considering a study exchange program. Paperwork and money problems are discouraging, but I know it's something I want to do. Sweden is a big possibility.

And I've been deciding on wall decoration for my room at my aunty's house. I'm making a conscious decision to stray from my adolescence and these are similar to what I've eventually decided on.

I hope you are well; may your life be full of wonderfully crazy catastrophes.

http://justnerdgirlproblems.tumblr.com

Don't blink.

I learned to eat my dinner left handed.
Choking on a potato didn't stop me.

Recommends!

So in about three weeks, I'll be done with this trimester of uni. I have an exam (boo, hiss) and a couple of big assignments to go. Trying my best. That's all I can really do.

Other than that; I just read John Green's The Fault In Our Stars, and I can see why people why are enamoured with it - because I am too. It was another one of those books I couldn't put down; the characters were very down to earth and I can't imagine losing somebody really close to me to cancer. It's a very touching book that I would recommend to anybody.

Also just saw Napoleon Dynamite for the first time, and it was a film I quite liked without logic; things happened as the characters were developed; not like the traditional character development/things happen/character re-evaluates themselves/character is restored/happy ending linear format. Plus that dance and its aftermath was quite remarkable.

I'm eagerly awaiting Chad Sugg's new EP Modern Sway; the release has been delayed, but he's put up the EP for a free preview. Shake Shake and 25 are stand out tracks. I myself, I'm still reeling from Wizards. This guy doesn't get enough credit; compared to 'top chart' people like Paris Hilton who get attention for doing nothing.

Julie Benz is coming to the Melbourne leg of Oz Comic Con; the wonderful actress from shows like Buffy, Angel, Dexter, Supernatural; the list goes on. Oz Comic Con is shaping up to be a wonderful choice of mine!

And Once Upon A Time has started airing here in Australia (I think the US just got the Season 1 finale, double boo). From the first couple of episodes I've seen (it's mainly a lot of setting up, which is fairly necessary for any series, I mean look at how Buffy started out!) I quite like it so far.

And I said that's fine, but you're the only one who knows I lied.

So things are, again, hectic. Good old Sufjan Stevens seems to inspire me when I'm not quite inspired enough on my own for university essays and the like.

Music wise? I'm looking forward to Metric's new album Synthetica coming out next month, and I just listened to Birds of Tokyo's self titled album. Really liked that one.

I've also gone a little crazy with online shopping. I've never done it before, and that excitement when there's a package in the mail a couple of weeks later is something quite new to me. It's mainly band t-shirts.

I've recently watched Pan's Labyrinth. On recommendations, which I'm glad I did. The librarian squealed with delight when I went to check it out at the campus library, so I was kind of like, yeah.

Don't get me wrong, there are many layers to Labyrinth, and I do like listening to the original Spanish dialogue it was shot with. But I think Donnie Darko will always be my favourite film to fit that niche, despite the fact that I had to study it to death in school... twice.

Work's been a little strange lately, but things are always strange with me I think.

I also got a very high score for an essay on hyper masculinity (which I had kind of pieced together while I was in Thailand and was not exactly expecting too much of a great result). The subject had interested me enough, and hey, Lorne! It was a pretty fantastic score for something I had honestly pieced together without obsessing too much over it. I admit that I'd struggled once I returned from Thailand (and hey, I think you could agree that anybody would feel the same in my position), so I was fairly surprised to say the least.

Lorne from Angel. He's the kind of character who's grown on me in the past couple of weeks.

As well as Fred.

 I'm near the end of season four with Angel. I'm slowly getting there.

The weekend that just past was more social than usual. Saturday I organised a special surprise dinner for my aunty (we dressed all formal and fancy and made dumplings). And Sunday involved a bit of homework before a dinner for Mother's Day; we had people over and everything.

I'll be working all next weekend (which I honestly don't mind too much, but), the three assessments due next week make things a little difficult.

Coldplay dates were announced in Australia! I'm hoping to snag some tickets.

And my NaNoWriMo memoir, about things happening to me the previous November, will be available online for purchase soon. I'm very excited about that.

I'm out of touch, I'm out of love...

I can't get over Rupert Grint in Ed Sheeran's music video for Lego House. I watched it so many times, I heard the song on the radio and started singing along. Eventually bought the album.

Coincidentally, I'll be going to see him live in August. The album's incredible, especially considering how young he is! (About a year older than me).

I don't know if you can gather, but I read The Hunger Games before seeing the film; the shaky camera was annoying, but it was a deliberate and calculated choice that amplifies the film, which I can't deny after seeing it twice.

Real or not real?

I'll be going to Oz Comic Con and a True Blood Con, both within the month of July.

Sam Trammell, anyone?
He'll be at the True Blood con.

Sean Maher, also known as Simon on Firefly.
He'll be at the Oz Comic Con.

I think Stan Lee is at Oz as well, but I was never a huge fan of comic books or graphic novels. Scott Pilgrim is the closest I'll get on that topic. Scott is the exception.

Charlaine Harris is also going to be at True Blood! I've just finished Deadlocked and I agree with the majority of reviews; this is a better book, considering the past couple of books. Eric/Sookie fans will be slightly disappointed, but I think their relationship in this book is portrayed realistically; you can only be in the 'in love' stage for so long and their relationship becomes a little more strained. This is a book of answers; the cluviel dor, fairy stuff, and people of Bon Temps seem to be settling down.

I've been pretty busy with my life in Melbourne. Adjusting from something huge like the Thailand trip hasn't been the best of things, considering 5-6 days a week I'm going it alone, figuratively. It's difficult when people or things to inspire me just haven't been working as well for me. I've loved this usually, right now I just can't explain it.

Wait. I can in one word.

Reality.

When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over...

...when everything is out, you gotta take it in.

My apologies! I've been quite busy; I've barely had enough time to eat, let alone update my blog. Right now I'm at my relatives' house by a fireplace, with Angel playing in the background, trying to type on my Touch. Stoking this fire has made me realise that I really am a by-an-open-fire type of person.

Thailand is in a week! Nearly everything is ready, I've been keeping up with my study and this holiday is finally in sight. Here is another crazy - yet wonderful - catastrophe on the horizon and I'm ready. Hopefully I can update you while I'm over; if not, then when I get back.

That wasn't the question.

I hope you've all had a safe and wonderful start to the new year. I've looked at the resolution for last year and found that it's perfectly applicable to this year as well. I've done with the best I've had.

I'm still knee deep in paperwork and I'm just trying to look forward to the day when I have that passport in my hands. I've also launched myself into Buffy, just for the sake of things. Christmas in Mildura was non eventful, but peaceful. The weather's been incredibly hot in both Melbourne and Mildura, and the days have mostly been spent relaxing and chasing the heat away - when I'm not working.

The fire of love sends you northbound.

This band are quickly becoming a new favourite (one of many favourites) of mine after purchasing their new album Bruiser (which just so happens to have a ram, or goat on the cover. I can't tell, is it some strange hybrid of both?). The Duke Spirit are awesome enough, they just don't have the right exposure.

Things are fairly busy, even with the absence of university. Job interviews, starting to drive (again), and relatives. Watched Firefly and loved it. Watching Chuck S3, and well, no idea what it will be after that. I like not knowing, though.

Television habits.

You gotta love turbulence.

So I had a parent tell me that my brain activity is on such a higher level, I don't have to concentrate on mundane things such as keeping my balance and equilibrium.

...I like this kind of thinking!

I'm back in Melbourne, and I enjoyed catching up with some people from high school that I would not have otherwise seen. The flight back had quite a bit of turbulence before landing, which was okay but not ideal.

I have work later on in the week, and I've just recently gotten into The Big Bang Theory. As well as True Blood returning for S4 last week! Since reading the novel series, I'm able to appreciate the show coming up with new story lines for the supporting characters of the show (as presented in third person); as opposed to the single story line, first person point of view presented in the novels themselves.

How amazing is this promo poster?!

...okay, I'll be honest for a minute.
There's times when I'm so secure about things that I'm positively glowing. I'm just bursting with happiness and I think life can't get much better. I'm living for myself, in a city I love, studying intriguing media theory with the support of a part time job.

...and then there's times where I'm just...I think the appropriate word is...
scared.
Of the future, the truth, myself.
For others' well being.
Whether I'm doing the right thing for myself and others.
Of being alone again.
Of my subconsciousness.

But maybe I have to acknowledge this feeling.
Hiding from it only made things worse.
Maybe I have to break free of this sick cycle carousel.

I'm just a waitress.

So... I've got a job. At least I can say the "I'm just a waitress" Sookie Stackhouse line without quoting it like usual.

So learning a menu for homework. And table numbers.

Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not telepathic at the moment.

Anyway, I think this is a great opportunity to people watch as well, once I nail it all down. The first order I took was from a guy who had this fairly strong accent (French? Italian? Somewhere from Europe!). That was fun.

And - even though it's been a while since I was consistently clumsy - this may help to exorcise my Demon of Clumsy once and for all. Though I won't press my luck and try balancing three plates. That would be something to learn later.

It's load of fun. I think I'm going to like it.

I wouldn't belong to you in your dreams.

...I am SO excited for this. Less than one month to go.
And I was happy with the music choice for the official trailer, they've remained in the tradition of using Bridezilla's music. If it wasn't for this trailer, I would never have ended up making my music video to 'Queen of Hearts'. It's got me wondering which song they'll use from Bridezilla for the final book, called Rapture.

Have a random song that appeared on Smallville.
Which appeared in this scene.

...I have no idea why I'm reflecting on old school Smallville.
I think the demon of procrastination's back again. *headdesk*

I'd pay to see you frown...

Happy Pat Day. I'm currently sitting in my dark hole with my sole drink, some water and some skittles. I'm planning to stay up until midnight for Panic!'s Vices and Virtues release tomorrow and to see if my pre-order will download after midnight. Four hours to go.

The Smallville S8 finale... my reaction was something like this.

I didn't realise how attached to Jimmy I'd become. Very very sad face.

So I'm trying to think about an essay and how I'm to plan it out. Feels impossible right now and it also feels like I've got this ticking timebomb in my hands and I have no idea what to do with it. But if I'm stuck holding it for too long, it'll blow up in my face.

I went shopping today and saw some random things.

• One was a lady who couldn't accept her ticket was expired while I was sitting on the tram. The validator made the sound we all associate with an expired ticket and spat her ticket out. She asked out loud what was wrong with it and tried to validate her ticket on a different machine. Same result. She then proceeded to progress through the tram to validate her ticket on all the machines and declare they weren't working.
• I also saw a worker in a supermarket. She was carrying dog food to stack on the shelves and something about her expression stuck with me. If I had one word for it... defeat.
• And in contrast, the greeter I've seen there a few times before seems insanely enthusiastic about her job. I might be like that if I had a few glasses of Coke...every day.