I want to take you far from the cynics in this town...

200th post, everyone!

...I found my music video had been shared over at bridezillamusic.com - with a 5/5 rating, no less! I'm just blown away by that.

Went out with housemates last week. I think having somebody needing to be that drunk to hit on somebody else is a major turn off. It could almost be an insult. I prefer those kinds of things sober, thank you very much.

I've finished classes for the trimester, with only one more essay to complete: The Shining vs Cry Wolf.

Random phrase of the moment during Facebook chat? 

"Enough of my self victory vomit."

And a job interview tomorrow! Hoping it goes well.

True sentences.

Dessert flavoured yogurts are possibly the best compromise.

I should start things much sooner.

You listen to music either to party or relax to.

I've got nothing else to lose, I lost it all when I found you, and I wouldn't change a thing.

A decision can be made within a split second...or take about an hour to realise.

Put fruit where you normally store your junk food - trust me.

Why do we like to hurt so much?

Reflexes subconsciously develop once we accept consistent clumsiness.

Subtlety is beauty. Things don't have to be obvious to be beautiful.

Some people can be so wonderful that they can make you ache.

Paradoxes can be quite amazing to witness.

Music has the ability to break hearts with its beauty, as well as complete them.

Brand New Colony - The Postal Service ♥

I'll be the grapes fermented
Bottled and served with the table set

In my finest suit, like a perfect gentleman

I'll be the fire escape

That's bolted to the ancient brick

Where you will sit and contemplate your day

I'll be the water wings

That save you if you start drowning

In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink

I'll be the phonograph

That plays your favorite albums back

As you're lying there, drifting off to sleep

I'll be the platform shoes

And undo what heredity's done to you

You won't have to strain to look into my eyes

I'll be your winter coat

Buttoned and zipped straight to the throat

With the collar up so you won't catch cold

I want to take you far

From the cynics in this town

And kiss you on the mouth

We'll cut our bodies free

From the tethers of this scene

Start a brand new colony

Where everything will change

We'll give ourselves new names

(Identities erased)

The sun will heat the ground

Under our bare feet

In this brand new colony

Everything will change, ooo... 

You see the colours in me like no one else. ♥

From here.

And also. I might have felt this what feels like a lifetime ago. The difference with me was, it wasn't reciprocal. Hey, these experiences make us stronger.

"No, when I say I love you, I wanna say something more. What I’m trying to say is…I like you. And everything you felt for her I felt for you too, except you got your heart broken just once. I get mine broke every day. Every time you don’t look at me the same way I look at you, and I know this ruins everything and I know this makes things awkward, we’re just supposed to be friends but…is it selfish of me to want more than that? I want…all of you. And all I have to give in return is myself. I wish I could give you more."

I think of the people who have been the focus of my past obsessions with them... and I think, what on EARTH was I thinking?! Only because I know so much better by now. I was fueled by romanticised, Hollywood type thinking. Which only really made things much more painful.

It brings to mind a certain phrase.
...self-sabotage.

I wish I knew what to do in this particular dilemma. It's not life or death, thank goodness, so I can take my time deciding. I just don't know. Send me a sign!

Now what would you say if I told you that everyone thinks you're a crazy old cat?

...hey man, now you're really living.

Supernatural season 6 finale...well, there comes a time where every fangirl outgrows her fictional angel. Especially with that ending. *tear*

I love this scarf from Scott Pilgrim's Knives. I'm contemplating whether to take up knitting just for this scarf.

Also, got an unexpected phone call from a marketing company I applied for work to. My schedule conflicts prevent me from working there, but hey! One, they thought I was a potential for the job, two, they called to follow up. First people to do these things since I've started looking for work.

Assignments, cooking, housemates, family. End of the trimester in a couple of weeks.

Hey man, now you're really living.

If this part of my life were a film, or at least this part of my life was a scene from a film, I imagine this song would be playing over a montage of the last few months. Learning to drive again, packing for days on campus and weekends with family, checking out books, writing essays, insane moments with my housemates, even more insane moments with my family, riding around on trams, Wednesday afternoon films and strolling through supermarkets and the CBD.

In short, I think it's become my new theme song. Which would replace this.

Anyways. Having a fairly relaxing weekend with family. Hope you are too!

I wouldn't belong to you in your dreams.

...I am SO excited for this. Less than one month to go.
And I was happy with the music choice for the official trailer, they've remained in the tradition of using Bridezilla's music. If it wasn't for this trailer, I would never have ended up making my music video to 'Queen of Hearts'. It's got me wondering which song they'll use from Bridezilla for the final book, called Rapture.

Have a random song that appeared on Smallville.
Which appeared in this scene.

...I have no idea why I'm reflecting on old school Smallville.
I think the demon of procrastination's back again. *headdesk*

The way you make me feel...

Why not?! Shame. Because I love me.
What, I can't express how much I love me?

So I spend my days alternating between activities like:

• Tracking down awesome songs from my youth or having heard them randomly somewhere.
• Writing essays/presentation speeches.
• Eating junk food... but only during the weekly film. Or absentmindedly while essay writing.
• Deviantart scanning.
• songmeanings.net scanning of pretty much most music I listen to that is lyrically intriguing.
• Playlist sharing!
• Catching up with friends.
• Trying to put a dent in my pile of unread novels!
• Food shopping. There's a certain something, perhaps a loss of innocence, strolling through supermarket aisles by yourself.

I never thought tonight could ever be... this close to me. ;)

So right now, I'm lying on my bed. My essay's handed in, I can hear trams rumbling in the distance from the main road, and I'm waiting for my aunty to pick me up for the weekend.

Can life get more perfect than this?

I lost my mind long ago, down the yellow brick road.

Facebook relationship statuses are so overrated.

No, really. I mean, if I were to set it to 'In A Relationship' right this minute, I guarantee you that people will jump on it like a freaking trampoline. Other people making that kind of thing their business, when it really isn't. This unhealthy obsession with other people's personal lives, this... voyeurism. Lack of privacy. It's just plain ridiculous. Not to mention, attention seeking. Anyone who wants that kind of attention over something not too serious, well... I won't incriminate me and you, reading this, with my opinion.

As you may be able to gather from this, I have removed my relationship status option all together from my Facebook. Not really my style, anyway. Do things really need labelling?

So I'm plowing through the essay and nearing the finish line.
...Edward Scissorhands, I will destroy you.
...well no, not really.

This I just LOVE, by the way. Credit on the picture.

This week's film was Fist of Fury.
Um, what to say about Fist of Fury?
...well, watch, if you've never heard of it. Bruce Lee? Action? Then yes.

I don't feel like, I don't feel like, I don't feel like loving you.

Full blown essay writing TERROR.

Also, I have added a new book to my "I'll get to it" pile of novels (Dead Reckoning by Charlaine Harris), all the while plowing through Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and I now have an iPod that can join the technologic-graveyard. That in saying, I have upgraded to a Touch.

Through all the university madness, I try not to forget how lucky I am to be in Melbourne.
Especially when I'm shown places like this.

"A girl can only be a slut, a bitch, a tease, or the virgin next door."

Scenario: A heavy load of shopping to carry by tram/walking.

Disney princess: Oh! Whereth be my fair cousins? Might they nobly accept such heavy lifting?
21st century girl: *lifts shopping without complaining*

So it's been pretty full on for the past couple of days. Stumbled home last night with an armful of library books, this could only mean one thing... essay writing insanity!

I also made a new friend.

And this week's film was Ginger Snaps... nothing like a little lycanthrope fun, eh?

Which super power would I want?

...I was invisible for years. I don't think I'll take invisibility.

I'm usually fairly punctual, I don't need the super speed or teleportation.

Telekinesis is laziness.

Telepathy can be too easily misused.

Shapeshifting? Pretending to be somebody else? How on earth could that be beneficial? You'd have personality problems and you'd be a little messed up. Pretending to be others is the easiest way to lose sight of yourself.

Flight? Fairly limiting. And the fun would wear off after a bit.

Super intelligence? Maybe, but you'd become some sort of filing cabinet of information. People will forget you're human and abuse it.

Super strength? Because I feel the need to lift and damage random people's cars? No thank you.

...I would want to be able to heal others. End suffering, all kinds of suffering, physical and mental. There's so much hurt out there and I want to be able to do something about it.

Can you feel all the love... like it was made for you.

Bright Star ♥

So I just love this feeling. That I know what and who makes me happy - genuinely happy, not the briefest, material happiness that left a hollowed, apparently infinite emptiness I used to feel for such a long stretch of time.

And that I'm at finally able to feel this way - and give back, as much as I can. As well as the potential of experiencing beautiful moments that I used to daydream about that is perfectly conveyed in the gif above and this.

Easter was fun. I've caught up with friends, danced like a stunned monkey in a spotlight, listened to different music like my iTunes has been stuck on shuffle and had enough roast lamb to burst. It's so strange to be sitting in my old shoebox and remember it in its claustrophobic state. Plus, I'm getting better at flying, apparently. My first time flying was fairly disastrous and humiliating.

I hope you all had a safe and happy easter.

Zis, chilwen, is a packing fwenzy.

Right now, I'm in my mess of a hole. Clothes are everywhere, my suitcase is somewhat full-ish, my flight information has been checked and is waiting ready. It's not much of a frenzy, I'm sorry to say.

I'm going to Mildura for a few days for easter. I shall see friends and it shall be fun. I leave tomorrow.

I have my stack of unread novels to choose from...

It's been my "I have university stuff/plans with actual people" pile, which is sad because I love reading and I used to be able to make the time to read through hundreds of pages. It feels like a hazy memory nowadays. I'm hoping to make a decent dent in this pile while I'm away. Now that the ghost has moved on, maybe things will be different for me up in Mildura.

I hope it's gonna make you notice... someone like me...

This might be how I feel right now. And somehow combine it with this.
And I also heart this.
I'll remember not to post on Monday mornings, you don't need to read that.

A quick snack/lunch? Sauteed mushrooms with fresh cucumber and capsicum in a little bowl. Yum. One of those good, unexpected surprise results from crazy whims of mine.

...what is this feeling? Could it be... insanity?!

Sleepy Hollow stood out to me in the student film presentations, so I went away and watched it. It's greater than a 'meh', but doesn't quite reach that 'stupendous' rating from me. In short, watch if you like Johnny Depp/Tim Burton directing/Colleen Atwood costumes.

I also watched Little Miss Sunshine for class. Sunshine gets a 'stupendous' from me. If there's ever a film about family dysfunction, it's this one. WATCH IT.

Hugs ARE drugs.

So I have a question for you. Can a stolen hug be an honest hug at the same time?

Also, you know your cousin loves you when he gives you his massive Nerf gun to try.

Anyway, my weekend was great, as usual. To the point where I start my Mondays feeling a little lost and out of place. I think the hardest thing would be deciding whether and when to get out of bed on Monday morning or not. Sounds a little strange, I know. I feel like it's my back-to-reality transition over the day.

...the irony. I free up my Monday mornings and I end up hating Mondays anyway.

Back to work...studying.

And I can think of a thousand reasons why I don't believe in you, I'm not yours any more...

So here. You guys get to have a video version of my usual teaser.
As a thank you for stalking my blog.
And because media/film students are supposed to do this sort of thing.
...well, I have no idea. I've done it, anyway. Appreciate?

"The Power of..." by The Pierces was used. I'm happy to say that I found these girls through something other than Gossip Girl. Geez, other things exist. I'm no watcher of Gossip Girl and I don't plan to.

And my normal photo version one would be something like this.

The lighting's meh.

As you can see, I have had a headphones upgrade. My last ones were cheap and plastic and broken, both physically and wire-wise. You know, when you have to arrange the connecting wires so you can hear properly? Tends to happen to all listening aid devices with age? I hope you know what I mean?

Anyway, the sound through these is INCREDIBLE.

So I went to the CBD today.
A store guy called me "miss" today. I wish I knew how to feel about that.
...oh wait, it was added to the end of every sentence. I guess annoyance, then.
I did get some reading done on the tram, which is a relief to get done before the weekend. Something I'm also hoping to get done (or start) before the weekend is my presentation/analysis on a film scene of my choice.

...Amélie, anyone?

Thinking to myself, hey isn't this easy?

Awwww. ♥

So when you're inspired by things like this and living like you've been exalted a million times; well, let's just say that the world is too amazing.

...well, I know I can be paranoid.
And obsessive.
And regretful (about a certain Irish guy, but nothing that can be done about that now).
...I lied once and was resented by only one person by it. And they're not angry I lied, they're angry that they believed me.
But I'm working past it all.
I even use my stalker skills for the good side now.

Gotten fascinated with achieving "Bette Davis Eyes" status. And I know there's somebody out there that's just read this and choked on their coffee; but really, I think it's about time.

The film we watched was A Bout de Souffle. The jump cuts were something to be admired.

Sweet dreams are made of these...

So us housemates like to frolic in the park. And have random Nerf wars. And bitch about stuff. And go to the movies (Sucker Punch is pretty awful, by the way). And buy ice cream!

Also, journalism is retarded. Today in the tute we were asked to ask ten randoms on campus about who they think would win the 2011 Gold Logie. First of all, I really don't care about the Logies, and second, TEN RANDOM PEOPLE?! It's almost asking for trouble.

It has gotten me curious about Adam Hills, though. But anyway, what the.

My film afternoon tomorrow! Should be loads of fun as always. Not too far off from making dinner, I always feel like in a fish mood on Tuesday nights.

Nineteen.

So my birthday was pretty much PERFECT.

Spent time with Mum, almost won a game of bowling with friends, and then the rest of the day with the usual relatives. Was not expecting my cousins to be there, so it made my day even more, and my older brother and sister came over as well. A night of wonder and hilarity. Plus, probably the first time in my life I've been the least embarrassed to cut a birthday cake and touch the bottom with the knife.

The whole day passed quickly in a flurry of giddy laughing and random Nerf wars and stuff.

The world is too amazing.

Let's kill tonight!

So it's the end of the week, and I'm left contemplating the weekend while I stare at my wall.

Also... guess what I've got myself?

My aim is still really sucky, so I'm working on improving it.

I've finished my major work for the week. It was a fairly close thing. Let me tell you, motivation is a strange thing. I work better when I'm motivated right. All I was telling myself was, I don't want to do this over the weekend!!!! so I just ended up motivating myself that way and got it all done. Yay.

Also, I'm going to Chadstone twice within two days. Amazing.

So my afternoon was spent watching Nightmare Alley and scoffing so much junk food with a bunch of other film students.

...I swear, I just walked out of the viewing, and the colour hurt my eyes. Watching so much black and white for such an extended period of time can be so, hmmm. Tiring, yet inspiring.

I mean, seriously. There was this one stunning dress... that I can't find a picture of anywhere on the net. Suckage. And the film composition itself. Oh, my. Whole new meaning to mise-en-scene.

Note, this is not the dress I speak of.

Still have a little work to do this week, before I can succumb to the bliss that is this coming weekend.

♪ If you want to be a passenger...

Climb aboard with me, we're leaving now
Step outside and see another world
Only if you want to be a passenger

...well you're welcome to it. Even just by reading this blog, you've chosen to be a passenger to my wonderfully crazy life. Thanks.

Is it possible for one person to make you feel beautiful?

Original over here. I love this.

I had a fairly average day today. The journalism tute wasn't such a slow death today. Plus, it ended about an hour early, yay. Was snuck up on by housemates with Nerf guns while I was chopping potatoes with a BIG KNIFE. I think I may need such a gun to defend myself.

It's my birthday Saturday. I'm going to able to do loads now that I'm in Melbourne.

Reasons why winter is better than summer?

1. It's easier to get warmer in winter than cooler in summer.
2. Hot chocolate! Or chai tea. Or ordinary tea. Or ... heaven forbid, coffee.
3. Beanies.
4. Thick coats and scarves.
5. Blankets, quilts and the like.
6. Adorable padded jumpers.
7. You can get warmed up by somebody ;) but in summer you just want people away from you while you molt in your own sweat.
8. Gloves!
9. Fuzzy bed socks.
10. Fuzzy slippers.
11. Sitting in a warm bed as you can hear the wind howling and the rain pounding the ground...