Which super power would I want?

...I was invisible for years. I don't think I'll take invisibility.

I'm usually fairly punctual, I don't need the super speed or teleportation.

Telekinesis is laziness.

Telepathy can be too easily misused.

Shapeshifting? Pretending to be somebody else? How on earth could that be beneficial? You'd have personality problems and you'd be a little messed up. Pretending to be others is the easiest way to lose sight of yourself.

Flight? Fairly limiting. And the fun would wear off after a bit.

Super intelligence? Maybe, but you'd become some sort of filing cabinet of information. People will forget you're human and abuse it.

Super strength? Because I feel the need to lift and damage random people's cars? No thank you.

...I would want to be able to heal others. End suffering, all kinds of suffering, physical and mental. There's so much hurt out there and I want to be able to do something about it.

Can you feel all the love... like it was made for you.

Bright Star ♥

So I just love this feeling. That I know what and who makes me happy - genuinely happy, not the briefest, material happiness that left a hollowed, apparently infinite emptiness I used to feel for such a long stretch of time.

And that I'm at finally able to feel this way - and give back, as much as I can. As well as the potential of experiencing beautiful moments that I used to daydream about that is perfectly conveyed in the gif above and this.

Easter was fun. I've caught up with friends, danced like a stunned monkey in a spotlight, listened to different music like my iTunes has been stuck on shuffle and had enough roast lamb to burst. It's so strange to be sitting in my old shoebox and remember it in its claustrophobic state. Plus, I'm getting better at flying, apparently. My first time flying was fairly disastrous and humiliating.

I hope you all had a safe and happy easter.

Zis, chilwen, is a packing fwenzy.

Right now, I'm in my mess of a hole. Clothes are everywhere, my suitcase is somewhat full-ish, my flight information has been checked and is waiting ready. It's not much of a frenzy, I'm sorry to say.

I'm going to Mildura for a few days for easter. I shall see friends and it shall be fun. I leave tomorrow.

I have my stack of unread novels to choose from...

It's been my "I have university stuff/plans with actual people" pile, which is sad because I love reading and I used to be able to make the time to read through hundreds of pages. It feels like a hazy memory nowadays. I'm hoping to make a decent dent in this pile while I'm away. Now that the ghost has moved on, maybe things will be different for me up in Mildura.

I hope it's gonna make you notice... someone like me...

This might be how I feel right now. And somehow combine it with this.
And I also heart this.
I'll remember not to post on Monday mornings, you don't need to read that.

A quick snack/lunch? Sauteed mushrooms with fresh cucumber and capsicum in a little bowl. Yum. One of those good, unexpected surprise results from crazy whims of mine.

...what is this feeling? Could it be... insanity?!

Sleepy Hollow stood out to me in the student film presentations, so I went away and watched it. It's greater than a 'meh', but doesn't quite reach that 'stupendous' rating from me. In short, watch if you like Johnny Depp/Tim Burton directing/Colleen Atwood costumes.

I also watched Little Miss Sunshine for class. Sunshine gets a 'stupendous' from me. If there's ever a film about family dysfunction, it's this one. WATCH IT.

Hugs ARE drugs.

So I have a question for you. Can a stolen hug be an honest hug at the same time?

Also, you know your cousin loves you when he gives you his massive Nerf gun to try.

Anyway, my weekend was great, as usual. To the point where I start my Mondays feeling a little lost and out of place. I think the hardest thing would be deciding whether and when to get out of bed on Monday morning or not. Sounds a little strange, I know. I feel like it's my back-to-reality transition over the day.

...the irony. I free up my Monday mornings and I end up hating Mondays anyway.

Back to work...studying.

And I can think of a thousand reasons why I don't believe in you, I'm not yours any more...

So here. You guys get to have a video version of my usual teaser.
As a thank you for stalking my blog.
And because media/film students are supposed to do this sort of thing.
...well, I have no idea. I've done it, anyway. Appreciate?

"The Power of..." by The Pierces was used. I'm happy to say that I found these girls through something other than Gossip Girl. Geez, other things exist. I'm no watcher of Gossip Girl and I don't plan to.

And my normal photo version one would be something like this.

The lighting's meh.

As you can see, I have had a headphones upgrade. My last ones were cheap and plastic and broken, both physically and wire-wise. You know, when you have to arrange the connecting wires so you can hear properly? Tends to happen to all listening aid devices with age? I hope you know what I mean?

Anyway, the sound through these is INCREDIBLE.

So I went to the CBD today.
A store guy called me "miss" today. I wish I knew how to feel about that.
...oh wait, it was added to the end of every sentence. I guess annoyance, then.
I did get some reading done on the tram, which is a relief to get done before the weekend. Something I'm also hoping to get done (or start) before the weekend is my presentation/analysis on a film scene of my choice.

...Amélie, anyone?

Thinking to myself, hey isn't this easy?

Awwww. ♥

So when you're inspired by things like this and living like you've been exalted a million times; well, let's just say that the world is too amazing.

...well, I know I can be paranoid.
And obsessive.
And regretful (about a certain Irish guy, but nothing that can be done about that now).
...I lied once and was resented by only one person by it. And they're not angry I lied, they're angry that they believed me.
But I'm working past it all.
I even use my stalker skills for the good side now.

Gotten fascinated with achieving "Bette Davis Eyes" status. And I know there's somebody out there that's just read this and choked on their coffee; but really, I think it's about time.

The film we watched was A Bout de Souffle. The jump cuts were something to be admired.

Sweet dreams are made of these...

So us housemates like to frolic in the park. And have random Nerf wars. And bitch about stuff. And go to the movies (Sucker Punch is pretty awful, by the way). And buy ice cream!

Also, journalism is retarded. Today in the tute we were asked to ask ten randoms on campus about who they think would win the 2011 Gold Logie. First of all, I really don't care about the Logies, and second, TEN RANDOM PEOPLE?! It's almost asking for trouble.

It has gotten me curious about Adam Hills, though. But anyway, what the.

My film afternoon tomorrow! Should be loads of fun as always. Not too far off from making dinner, I always feel like in a fish mood on Tuesday nights.

Nineteen.

So my birthday was pretty much PERFECT.

Spent time with Mum, almost won a game of bowling with friends, and then the rest of the day with the usual relatives. Was not expecting my cousins to be there, so it made my day even more, and my older brother and sister came over as well. A night of wonder and hilarity. Plus, probably the first time in my life I've been the least embarrassed to cut a birthday cake and touch the bottom with the knife.

The whole day passed quickly in a flurry of giddy laughing and random Nerf wars and stuff.

The world is too amazing.

Let's kill tonight!

So it's the end of the week, and I'm left contemplating the weekend while I stare at my wall.

Also... guess what I've got myself?

My aim is still really sucky, so I'm working on improving it.

I've finished my major work for the week. It was a fairly close thing. Let me tell you, motivation is a strange thing. I work better when I'm motivated right. All I was telling myself was, I don't want to do this over the weekend!!!! so I just ended up motivating myself that way and got it all done. Yay.

Also, I'm going to Chadstone twice within two days. Amazing.

So my afternoon was spent watching Nightmare Alley and scoffing so much junk food with a bunch of other film students.

...I swear, I just walked out of the viewing, and the colour hurt my eyes. Watching so much black and white for such an extended period of time can be so, hmmm. Tiring, yet inspiring.

I mean, seriously. There was this one stunning dress... that I can't find a picture of anywhere on the net. Suckage. And the film composition itself. Oh, my. Whole new meaning to mise-en-scene.

Note, this is not the dress I speak of.

Still have a little work to do this week, before I can succumb to the bliss that is this coming weekend.

♪ If you want to be a passenger...

Climb aboard with me, we're leaving now
Step outside and see another world
Only if you want to be a passenger

...well you're welcome to it. Even just by reading this blog, you've chosen to be a passenger to my wonderfully crazy life. Thanks.

Is it possible for one person to make you feel beautiful?

Original over here. I love this.

I had a fairly average day today. The journalism tute wasn't such a slow death today. Plus, it ended about an hour early, yay. Was snuck up on by housemates with Nerf guns while I was chopping potatoes with a BIG KNIFE. I think I may need such a gun to defend myself.

It's my birthday Saturday. I'm going to able to do loads now that I'm in Melbourne.

Reasons why winter is better than summer?

1. It's easier to get warmer in winter than cooler in summer.
2. Hot chocolate! Or chai tea. Or ordinary tea. Or ... heaven forbid, coffee.
3. Beanies.
4. Thick coats and scarves.
5. Blankets, quilts and the like.
6. Adorable padded jumpers.
7. You can get warmed up by somebody ;) but in summer you just want people away from you while you molt in your own sweat.
8. Gloves!
9. Fuzzy bed socks.
10. Fuzzy slippers.
11. Sitting in a warm bed as you can hear the wind howling and the rain pounding the ground...

Everybody's working for the weekend.

When you're hugging somebody, and you've judged that the hug's gone long enough, so you start to pull away but the other person just holds you tighter? ...sigh. Amazing.

So I've been listening to Metric's Fantasies, thanks to a certain somebody's recommendation. I love it so much. "Twilight Galaxy" is - even in acoustic - intensely dark and yet wonderfully fragile. I wonder if I can describe myself like that. At least I have something in common with tinted glass.

Originally from here...

Did they tell you, you should grow up
When you wanted to dream
Did they warn you, better shape up
If you want to succeed
I don't know about you, who are they talking to?
They aren't talking to me

I'm higher than high, lower than deep
I'm doing it wrong, singing along

Did I ask you for attention
When affection is what I need
Thinking sorrow is perfection
I'd wallow 'til you told me
There's no glitter in the gutter
There's no twilight galaxy

Go higher than high

Lower than deep

Keep doing it wrong

Singing along

I'm higher than high,

Lower than deep

Doing it wrong

and singing along

I'm alright, c'mon baby
I've seen all the demons that you've got.
If you're not alright, now c'mon baby
I'll pick you up and take you where you want
Anywhere you want
Anywhere you want
Anywhere you want
Anything you want

I'm higher than high

Lower than deep

Doing it wrong

And singing along

Higher than high

Lower than deep
Doing it wrong

Singing along

I'm on a horse.

...intense, yes?

Yesterday I hung with the housemates! Went to Chadstone and we pretty much stayed up late talking about random stuff. Fun.

Treated myself to a little date in the CBD today to celebrate the end of the week.
Aside from Dymocks and a 7-11 slushie, saw these guys in Swanston Street. They seemed nice.

Up until now, I shopped at Coles with a cloth bag - from Woolworths. Aww yeah, totally badass.

While shopping, I tilted a pack of raspberries to see the bottom, unsure of whether they were worthy of my purchasing. Some juice leaked out and splattered over my left wrist. If you weren't looking carefully enough, it'd appear that it looked a bit suicidal.

I took that as a sign and bought them.

Help, I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer...

...so whenever I go to the journalism tutes, I feel like I'm being kissed by a dementor. Each and every time. I die a little on the inside and when it's over I feel like I was born again.

This is the playlist to lull me to sleep. It worked wonders last night. Feel free to try it, if you like.

1. Northenden - Doves
2. Bittersweetheart - Ed Harcourt
3. The Cedar Room - Doves
4. Desert Song - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
5. Reprise - Doves
6. Falling Down (Tom Waits cover) - Scarlett Johansson
7. Willow's Song (Bury Version) - Doves
8. Sparks - Coldplay
9. Almost Forgot Myself (Demo) - Doves

So today things have been fairly average... nothing too exciting... just normal. 

You know, for a film/media student.

Hey, hey, we are a hurricane.

...you know what? Hot cross buns with cream cheese is better than you think it would be.

So my weekend ended with a whole but heavy heart. Not quite broken... not quite perfect, either. And I realised I was being a little selfish to some people. Forcibly inserting myself into somebody's life (as is the case with asking somebody to forcibly insert something anything...) is never a good thing. It causes things to get a little strained, even though you want things to work out so badly that it physically hurts. Some things just weren't meant to work out.

In other words, imagine the person that you love the most.
Go on, close your eyes and visualise them right in front of you.

...now, I dare you not to love them. Go on, try it.

Exactly. You can't.

...I do like this visual representation though.

And I haven't forgotten the people that I've let walk all over me for far too long for reasons I can't quite comprehend. All I'll say about that is... watch out.

Note to self: shop more often during the week. Annoying to have to buy a second cloth bag and lug everything by tram/walking.

You gave me a life I never chose.

So I FINISHED MY PLAY.
 ...I mean, essay.
A week, three blocks of chocolate a few hot chocolates and one messy room later.

I also just saw Red Riding Hood. And you kind of realise it's the director of the first Twilight film when you've been stuck with all the romance sap with a couple of action scenes here and there. There's definitely more for both genders, as opposed to the one sided Twilight ones. I give it a 'meh'.

It's getting wonderfully cold! I've started wearing my beanie and I'm looking forward to the day when gloves will be necessary. I've always loved winters in Melbourne and this one's looking to be a good one.

Live your life until love is found, or love's gonna get you down.

...so this is what some of my desk looks like when essay writing is at the forefront of my mind.

...yeah, I really need to clean it.

Current magnet quote...  The Fray ♥

The deadline is just within days of reach and it almost makes me nostalgic of pre-Lit exam preparation. At least this time around, I'm not ruining sheafs and sheafs of looseleaf in my attempt to write scholarly. Or remembering quotes. Or losing sleep!

Anyone reading my blog in the earlier days ever remember this post? ...turns out it was this strange mild anxiety disorder thingy. I've since recovered and have blissfully enjoyed eating out without anxiety for the past couple of months. I'm telling you, everything fell into place when I moved back here to start university.

When it falls into place with you and I, we go from if to when. ♥

Much, much, much thanks to Lexie for acting as courier.

Just got back from the weekly film, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. 

Insane visuals about being insane. 

My head's still spinning.

Bright Star by John Keats.

You've never looked at me the way he looks at me now...

Well, last weekend was one of the happiest I've ever had.

I caught the new Harry Potter exclusive stuff and I managed to freeze frame this.

*tear*

So yesterday I met up in the city with MEL. And we went to STARBUCKS. And I was so freaking happy to see her because I hadn't seen her in... ten months? She's one of those people that can cheer up anybody and I love that about her. I love the random moments we have, and the fact that I've known her for quite a while and we're still friends.

I'm finally getting on with the essay, and I have a busy schedule today.

She's not gonna choose you for standing so tall...

So we viewed Modern Times for the afternoon film this week. My, oh my.

So staying up for Vices and Virtues turned out to be an epic fail. Stayed up until one in the morning and the pre-order wouldn't download, so I went to bed a little cranky and disappointed. Then I woke up at around 8am and decided to see if it would work then... and it did. Long story short, I stayed up for nothing!

I may need another listen to it, but I think I like it. Bordering on a fine line between their two previous albums. There's a couple that will stick, I reckon.

Also been playlist sharing with some friends and the majority is AMAZING as per usual. Just when I think I'm set for awesome music I get proved wrong time and time again.

I'd pay to see you frown...

Happy Pat Day. I'm currently sitting in my dark hole with my sole drink, some water and some skittles. I'm planning to stay up until midnight for Panic!'s Vices and Virtues release tomorrow and to see if my pre-order will download after midnight. Four hours to go.

The Smallville S8 finale... my reaction was something like this.

I didn't realise how attached to Jimmy I'd become. Very very sad face.

So I'm trying to think about an essay and how I'm to plan it out. Feels impossible right now and it also feels like I've got this ticking timebomb in my hands and I have no idea what to do with it. But if I'm stuck holding it for too long, it'll blow up in my face.

I went shopping today and saw some random things.

• One was a lady who couldn't accept her ticket was expired while I was sitting on the tram. The validator made the sound we all associate with an expired ticket and spat her ticket out. She asked out loud what was wrong with it and tried to validate her ticket on a different machine. Same result. She then proceeded to progress through the tram to validate her ticket on all the machines and declare they weren't working.
• I also saw a worker in a supermarket. She was carrying dog food to stack on the shelves and something about her expression stuck with me. If I had one word for it... defeat.
• And in contrast, the greeter I've seen there a few times before seems insanely enthusiastic about her job. I might be like that if I had a few glasses of Coke...every day.

She was so sure about it all...

Peeping Tom = film within a film within a film within a film. Shesus.

So I actually got to film today with the awesome prosumer camera.
...oh my goodness, I love it. We edit next week. I can't wait.

Learned how to play Texas Hold 'em with housemates, and it made for an interesting night. And I'm also going to get to see some friends and stuff this week. And family. Getting in this rhythm has been something special for me.

...I've been having dreamless sleep. I'm finally living my dream in real life that I have nothing left to dream about. 

It's quite something to somebody who used to "fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming" (Blind by Lifehouse).

Meh.

So I'm getting used to university I guess. And doing things for myself. It's almost kind of fun.

Day 21 - a song you listen to when you're happy: Holiday - Vampire Weekend
Day 22 - a song you listen to when you're sad: Sparks - Coldplay
Day 23 - a song you want to play at your wedding: Hallelujah by Paramore - Vitamin String Quartet
Day 24 - a song you want to play at your funeral: Misguided Ghosts - Paramore
Day 25 - a song that makes you laugh: Little Things - Pomplamoose
Day 26 - a song you can play on an instrument: Silent Night
Day 27 - a song that you wish you could play: That's What You Get - Paramore
Day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty: Back To The Start - Lily Allen
Day 29 - a song from your childhood: Kiss From A Rose - Seal
Day 30 - your favourite song at this time last year: Brick By Boring Brick - Paramore