WARNING: MAJOR SPOILER for 5x19

The following screencap is so terrifyingly heartbreaking and mind boggingly awful. MAJORLY spoils 5x19, and so, you have been warned, DO NOT CLICK if you absolutely DO NOT wish to be spoiled. You have been warned . . .

WARNING: ranting.

And we're got to find other ways to make it alone, but keep a straight face. Here comes my rant.

I'm tired of feeling like the slow, useless, stupid person in the room. I'm tired of being the nice girl that finishes last. I'm tired of being nothing. I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm tired of hiding behind this big cardboard cut out of who everyone thinks I am. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm smart, when my grades are just slipping further every time I look.

I want to be happy, my mentality caught up with everyone else, and I want to be normal.

But I may as well be listing things I'll never have.

General Supernatural 5x18 discussion/worshipping.

"Point of No Return"? WOW. Many MOAs (moments of awesome) and as it was the 100th episode, I guess that's in the criteria. Won't spoil too much, but this is a MUST SEE ep. Cas beat up Dean, but understandable considering the last few episodes. Liked the Zachariah angle at the beginning, gave him a almost human angle. Though I wasn't sorry about what happened near the end, he kinda had that coming, the way he was screwing with the boys.

TWO WEEKS.

TWO WEEKS - EXACTLY - until the convention. The excitement's starting to grow. And I've figured out how to hook up my phone to Facebook (text messages over mobile web), so I'll be updating. Hopefully won't be too bored on the way to Melbourne. The day of the convention shall have MAY fangirly statuses from me. :D

Supernatural awesomeness.

WOAH PROMO PITCHURE. 5x20. I can't even think about this one yet, I'm in the process of getting 17 and 18 as I type. Angsty Dean's getting a bit . . . ehhh. And CASTIEL BEATS UP DEAN IN EPISODE 18. The convention's not too far away . . . :D but CHANNEL TEN CANCELLED SUPERNATURAL AGAIN. After THREE episodes (5x9). Beware the fangirl wrath.

Life, how much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I AM EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Yeah. Hasn't really sunk in yet. So I may as well talk about other things. Am yet to see Supernatural 5x17, and coming up is 5x18 . . . EPISODE ONE HUNDRED. Wow.

I shall list the rare treasures life has thrown my way. When they do come my way, I'm feeling the happiest.

• Bear hugs, cuddles, the lift and spin hug . . . well, any hug really.
• A Supernatural episode that makes my jaw drop and keeps it hanging there.
• Cups of hot chocolate. Well, not really rare, but still.
• Rainy nights and thunderstorms.
• Songs that get in my head, really good ones and stay there. Especially the really sweet ones.
• The lift and hug spin. I know I've already said this, but it can't be said enough. It's beyond words how awesome it is. Being picked up off the ground makes me feel better. :D

Less than one week. Ehhh. New discoveries.

Happy Easter. I hope you enjoyed the chocolate pig out. I personally didn't feel like it this year, but no matter. Made Oreo flavoured ice cream yesterday, tasted it tonight . . . and it was so much better than simply eating an Oreo. It had the whole cookies-and-cream thing going on. It might just be my new thing. I'll definitely be making some more, mainly for Friday.

Five days to go. More like four, at the time of this post.

Supernatural Episode "Dark Side of the Moon" (Yeah, I keep up with the US. Included in the definition of fangirl. Cause I'll all that). So sad. And yet, so brilliant. I recommend this ep, no, I prescribe it for any fan. I shall not spoil, only mention . . . a few loved characters return for this ep and one particularly dirty angel has a cringeworthy moment in the spotlight {not Cas. Cas is no dirty angel ;)} . I shall only include the sypnosis and some pictures.

Ambushed by angry hunters, Sam and Dean are shot and killed and sent to Heaven. Castiel warns Dean that Zachariah is looking for them in Heaven so they need to lay low while searching for an angel named Joshua who can help them since he talks directly to God. While searching for Joshua, the brothers run into some old friends and family members.

♪ All The Right Moves by OneRepublic

If you've wanted something for weeks, months, even years; wished for it until every fibre in your being feels like it's on fire, and you suddenly get it . . . what if, during the process, you've found something new, and so your original wish isn't so desperately wanted . . . how are you supposed to feel? What if, by having your wish granted, you create additional pain for yourself? What now?

. . . one week to go.