An apology.

Hello everyone!

I do apologise for my negative behaviour, which may have come off fairly strongly in the previous post. I wish I could blame it on hormones, but I shouldn't by now. I'm much older for that kind of thing. I'm just annoyed that I didn't rein it in properly. Last week I unloaded it all on a Coles door greeter when she asked me how I was. To hear her say this afternoon that she'd been concerned about me was a wake up call. Needless to say, I've apologised to her.

Sometimes the stress of life and how I'm living it; it gets to me sometimes and it's not something I should unload on people just because it's hard for me to carry alone. I get bitter. In my head I'm a bitter old lady and I forget. And I'm immature in other ways.

I didn't grow up in quite the right way, and sometimes I wonder what it would have been like for me if things had turned out different or 'better' for me.

And then it occurs to me that I can't see things any other way.

I like being weird. I like seeing things the way I do. I wouldn't have grown the courage to move out of home. Everything I have now, I would have taken for granted. Because of everything that's happened to me, the hardship, the envy of others, the pain of being different; I've become the person I am today.

Who needs a nuclear family any way? With the person I've become... I don't.

And I mean that in an entirely positive, non-bitter kind of tone.

Maybe I fell in love when you woke me up ♥

Ed Sheeran in a few weeks. I've been listening to + in preparation. And his cover of Wonderwall is enough to make anybody fall in love.

I've also started a blog for a class, Crazy Academic Waitress. If you would like to see my academic musings on globalisation, feel free.

I've also decided not to go to the True Blood con. Once I find somebody to benefit from my change in decision, things should be fine. Hopefully.

Waiting on people has ruined me - I think I've lost faith in humanity. The regulars are fine, they've gotten to see me for the person that I am. It's just the people that expect to be waited on as though they were royalty. Yes, ordering six coffees at the one time and expecting them to arrive in a timely fashion when there's so much other crap going on around you... of course the world doesn't centre around you!

Needless to say, I was nodding as I read this blog post quite emphatically; I think I got whiplash.

Sometimes it's all too much and I forget what it's like to feel - other than empty and broken, I mean. Sometimes there's that wonderful reminder. Music's always been something that's helped me feel; it's always been there for me. Not that I know too much about it, but it's a more emotional connection than a technical one. I'm a very up and down person. Emotional extremes.

Animation class.

My most played.

So I figured this would be fun. Looking at the most played songs in my iTunes and comment on why they probably so.

1. Sunburn - Muse.
   This song was the first Muse song I heard when I voyaged through their discography - and it's an obvious favourite. The energy it projects ( ♪ she BURRRRRRRNNNS like the SUUUUUUNN ♪ ) is something that's stuck with me, even when listening to their more recent music.


2. Unintended/Uno/Sober/Escape/Overdue - Muse.
   Each of these songs is amazing in itself, but their order on the album listing conveys a passion and emotional rollercoaster. Escape in itself has always resonated powerfully with me, as somebody with abandonment issues and used to being overlooked. ( ♪ WHYYYYYYY can't you just LOOOOOOOVE HER...and WHYYYYYYY be such a MONNNNNNNSTEEEEEERR.  ♪ )


3. Bodies, Don't Wait and Northbound - The Duke Spirit.
   I came across this band quite by accident, their song Villain was playing in a store and it was quite catchy. These three songs; while their lyrics can be admittedly repetitive, they were also quite catchy.


4. Falling Down, Cave - Muse.
   The latter song is a favourite one of my friend Sam. Like I've mentioned above, their passion was easier conveyed to me and more memorable. Mind you, Muse are still awesome, and they've slowed down on the passion and gotten more comfortable. They've gotten older. It's a good and bad thing.


5. Say When - The Fray.
   My attachment to this song is deeply personal. Let's just say that I imagine that this song speaks of the most unspeakable thing I've done.


6. Close To Me (Remix) - The Cure.
   This song is probably my favourite from The Cure; it communicates that tension that's present in anticipation of 'performing'. Wink wink, nudge nudge.


7. Falling Down - Scarlett Johansson.
   Originally by Tom Waits, this song means losing faith in somebody you once worshipped. Discovering they have feet of clay.

There's plenty more, but I can't sit and explain all of them now, can I?

Television studio...

Started my television studio class; and boy, I now have a lot more respect for the crews out there everywhere.

After the OH&S walk through, we were given a news exercise that we would run through a few times, each time rotating the many roles involved. The first role I filled was lighting desk; this involved setting up the two lighting set ups the exercise involved - after that it was switching between the two.

The next role I had was shadowing audio - but this turned out to be assisting audio. This involved miking that rotation's presenters, and keeping in synch with everyone involved in the control room; the director's cues, DA, visual mixer, EVS etc.

The next rotation I was out on the studio floor observing; and from this viewpoint the chaos of the control room was hidden - all but the backstage monitor beside me. The packages and audio were sometimes late and graphics had some sort of hiccup, but that's all part of the learning process! And it was so much fun this time around.

At least I wasn't director or DA...this time.

I'll look after you... ♥

Sad to say, after about a year of waitressing, I haven't been able to exorcise my Demon of Clumsy. However, there's more awareness, and that's progress.

...and no, we don't have chips. Something a few customers seem to have a problem with.

A week left of holidays - more like a few days now, really. No Monday or Friday classes, yes!

Still reeling from my Oz Comic Con experience. Honestly, I had no trouble talking to people because they were all so awesome. All I really had to say was "DAVID TENNANT!" and everyone would reply "I KNOW!" - I didn't want to leave. I'm definitely going next year.

...antsy about knowing the result for my study exchange application, but all good things come to those who can wait.

Oz Comic Con report!

So I'm just kind of writing this all down while I remember it now.

I meant to meet my friend Sam at Southern Cross Station at around 9:30am so that we could figure out the way together. I had just gotten off the plane from Mildura - it was like this when I was boarding the flight a couple of hours before.

So somehow Sam and I miss each other at Southern Cross, and we finally get to the Melb Convention and Exhibition Centre to join the queue at about ten past ten.

This was the view towards the Casino opposite.

Well, I'm not too happy with how the Con started out for me. We waited at a near standstill for about an hour and a bit. Meanwhile the queue had lengthened through the venue, out the door, and along the side of the building outside. Everybody was grumpy and irritable, and we passed the time by reading the complaints on Facebook.

We finally, finally got to a steady walk and entered the doors at about 11:30ish. Meaning I missed the Whendonverse photo (group photo with Sean Maher, Julie Benz and Fran Kranz) I'd wanted to get.

I think the Con was fairly overwhelming at first impression - and last impression. We quickly found the token booth for photos and autographs. This meant another queue - but this one moved fairly quickly.

Sam ran off to quickly get a photo with Fran Kranz as I finished my purchases. Decided on a photo with Maher, and an autograph from each of the Whendonverse would-be group. The photo with Sean Maher was first, and I hurried off to that queue. I ended up talking to a couple of people who were really great Firefly fans. The girl in front of me kept talking about sneaking in a grope, and a guy called Justin was learning how to fold mini Serenity origami. He ended up posing with it in his photo with Sean, and then he gave it to me.

I ended up swapping with the girl in front as she organised herself. I saw her photo later; it looked like she'd tackle-hugged him and his mouth was open in a genuine laugh.

I was fairly nervous, and like an idiot, I asked the photographer if I'd blinked. He said he'd gotten it. Check the gate, moving on. Sean was so nice and friendly.

I got in line for my Julie Benz autograph. Julie's been in a few things I'd seen: Buffy, Angel, Dexter, Supernatural, etc. She looked perfectly lovely and was quite composed as she signed autographs, making conversation with each person.

a) She likes Melbourne a lot. She's sticking around for a few more days to absorb the city.
b) She thinks I don't look like a nerd. (I was still marvelling out loud about how we had the opportunity to be nerdy together in the one place, I'm so used to being nerdy by myself)
c) I have my life ahead of me to travel. I'm still a baby.
d) She liked my winter coat!

Sam found me after his Jason Momoa photo and he wandered off to find food and such. I jumped straight from the Julie line to Fran's comparatively modest line. I haven't seen Dollhouse myself, but I saw The Cabin in the Woods a few weeks ago, twice, and I loved it. Thought Fran was excellent.

a) Fran was really laid back. I almost thought he was in character from the film.
b) He messed up my autograph a little, and rather than say 'bad luck', he took the photo away completely and started a new one.
c) He likes Melbourne.
d) Fran really enjoyed filming a certain scene near the end - the bloodbath. Said it was a dream come true.

I had seen a certain Serenity/Firefly print of Jason Palmer's circulating, and I was wondering if I should go buy one or stay in line for my next autograph, Sean. The others in the line advised me to check and they saved my spot as I ran through the masses of people to the other side of the hall.

Said print I was after.

They were out. But I found an amazing alternative. And Jason signed it for me. Whoosh.

I went back to the Sean autograph line, awkwardly holding up this huge print. When I reached the front, both Sean and Fran (who was right next to Sean) were hypnotised by the print for a few minutes. Sean seemed to recognise me from the photo earlier and commented that particular scene from Serenity was his favourite moment from the film. He was tired... I can't imagine how Stan Lee must have been feeling signing how many autographs!

After that, I kind of got some food and wandered around for a little while. Relaxed. I met Sam's friend Nathan, who had gotten there insanely early, but was sixteenth in line, no waiting around like we had.

We also encountered a Stormtrooper, who started singing songs from the Buffy musical episode 'Once More, With Feeling' after we had our photos taken with him/her/it.

We mostly hung around after that to find our photos, and then I left. 

View opposite the Exhibition Centre when leaving.

It was such an exhausting but ecstatic day for me. The opportunity to embrace my weird and nerdy about me in a room of others like me doesn't come along very often.