Monday, July 23, 2012

An apology.

Hello everyone!

I do apologise for my negative behaviour, which may have come off fairly strongly in the previous post. I wish I could blame it on hormones, but I shouldn't by now. I'm much older for that kind of thing. I'm just annoyed that I didn't rein it in properly. Last week I unloaded it all on a Coles door greeter when she asked me how I was. To hear her say this afternoon that she'd been concerned about me was a wake up call. Needless to say, I've apologised to her.

Sometimes the stress of life and how I'm living it; it gets to me sometimes and it's not something I should unload on people just because it's hard for me to carry alone. I get bitter. In my head I'm a bitter old lady and I forget. And I'm immature in other ways.

I didn't grow up in quite the right way, and sometimes I wonder what it would have been like for me if things had turned out different or 'better' for me.

And then it occurs to me that I can't see things any other way.

I like being weird. I like seeing things the way I do. I wouldn't have grown the courage to move out of home. Everything I have now, I would have taken for granted. Because of everything that's happened to me, the hardship, the envy of others, the pain of being different; I've become the person I am today.

Who needs a nuclear family any way? With the person I've become... I don't.

And I mean that in an entirely positive, non-bitter kind of tone.

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