So I've been told more than once in the past couple of weeks that "[I'm] a survivor. [They] can tell. [I'm] tough." and it's got me wondering as I type this in between cleaning my sheets and tidying my hole.
A survivor is defined as "To remain alive or in existence; To carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere; To remain functional or usable." When we think of survivors when mentioned on the news, they've usually suffered through a horrible accident or ordeal. And their reward for surviving is dealing with the trauma.
I may not have been through a horrible accident, but I've definitely had trauma issues. I've just never thought of myself being a survivor before.
But what does being labeled a survivor mean?
That somebody's particularly good at surviving? That it's a skill comparable to painting, dancing, singing, worth being displayed in an exhibition? "This particular exhibition shall display some especially challenging survival exercises. Note this survivalist's particular technique with controlling traumatic experiences."
It essentially boils down to luck, a lot of the time. That in saying, I've been extremely lucky, now that I think about it. I could have ended up a drooling hospitalised mess.
Not that I have anything against hospitals or the like.
So are survivalists lucky, or does luck have absolutely no factoring element? Divine intervention? I pose this question to you, who is stalking my blog. I'd like to hear what you think.
I'm also really bothered by somebody right now. I'm the punchline to them. The butt of every joke. I'm never really taken seriously, never really been on equal standing ...I'm just sick of it. I'm about ready to explode. I've exploded once before, and it wasn't pretty at all. Probably the only time I unleashed that part of myself I'm absolutely terrified of.
But this is has just gotten past funny for me and headed straight for humiliated and hurt. I'm not putting up with this any more.
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